Angel was walking past the alley behind the Bronze when he heard it. It was barely audible under the falling spring rain, the sound of someone whimpering in pain. He walked into the alley and was struck by the smell of blood. It had been quite awhile since he had eaten and he had to fight back the demon threatening to emerge, demanding to feed. Then he saw the figure huddled by the dumpster. As he approached the person curled up even more as if desperately trying to shrink into the brick wall behind it.
Angel stepped to the side to let what little light there was fall on the figure so he could see more clearly. It was a woman and she was lying in a puddle, half naked. Her panties and skirt were lying in shreds a couple of feet away. Her blouse was open and torn. She was holding her wrist close to her chest and Angel could tell by the angle that it was broken. There was blood on her thighs, arms and stomach. The sight of her broken, beaten body was enough to make even the vampire in him cringe. Her face was hidden by her wet hair.
His voice was gentle in the night. "It's okay, I won't hurt you." As the figure turned to look at Angel he struggled not to cry out in rage. The left side of her face was already bruising and her lip was split. There was a large gash above her eye that was bleeding profusely. But even under all the blood and gore he could clearly make out the face, one he knew so well. Willow.
Her eyes were glassy as she stared at him, never making a sound. He approached her slowly not wanting to scare her. "Willow, it's Angel." There was no response. He wanted to tell her that it was okay, but it wasn't. He wanted to tell her that she was safe, but she wouldn't have believed him. He took off his jacket and placed it around her shoulders as he crouched down next to her. She looked up at him and as he put his arms around her she let herself be pulled against his chest. Not sobbing or crying, simply letting herself be enveloped in his arms as he held her. Her body was in shock and her mind was hiding. Not yet wanting to face reality.
"Willow, we have to get you to the hospital." As badly as she had been beaten Angel was very concerned about internal injuries and didn't want her to try and stand on her own. He didn't want to leave her and knew that if he yelled out for help there would be a crowd surrounding them in seconds and that's the last thing she needed right now. Angel scooped her up into his arms and carried her out of the alley and to the nearest car, luckily it was unlocked. He placed her gently on the seat, noticing her wince in pain at the movements before going around to the other side and hot wiring the engine.
Angel drove as quickly as he dared to the hospital, the roads slick from the rain. Trying to utter soothing words of comfort. Willow never responded. She simply stared straight ahead in silence. She was shaking and Angel thought it was a combination of the shock and the cold. Angel heard her shift next to him and he glanced over to see her unconscious form slumped over. She had passed out. Angel sped up.
When the phone ringing pierced the silence Giles jumped a little in his chair. Glancing up from the book to the clock he noted it was almost midnight and he felt the all too familiar feeling of apprehension settle in the pit of his stomach. The library phone ringing at this hour on a Friday night could mean very few things. The most likely being the impending end of the world. Fearing another long night he quickly walked over and picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Rupert, it's Angel. I'm at Sunnydale General. Can you get here right away?"
Angel's words had effectively turned the feeling of dread into full blown panic. "Buffy?"
"No, Willow." Angel stopped for a minute, not knowing how to continue. He knew how much Willow meant to Giles and he hated to tell him over the phone. "I found her in the alley by the Bronze. She was attacked."
Giles fought to swallow the lump rising in his throat so he could speak. "How is she?"
Angel decided to tell him as little as possible until they were face to face. "The doctor's are with her now, but . . . Rupert, it was a brutal attack. I tried to call her house, but there's no answer."
Giles thought for a second before remembering. "Her parents are in the mountains skiing. That area is getting hit hard with a heavy snowstorm, I'm not sure we can reach them."
"We can worry about that later then, just get here."
"I'll be there in ten minutes. Or less." Giles didn't waste a second to say goodbye to Angel before hanging up the phone. He ran to his office to grab his jacket and keys.
"Alright Giles where are you hiding her?" Oz asked. Giles didn't know how to respond. He hadn't even thought of the others, there simply hadn't been time. "Willow was supposed to meet us at the bronze, but she said she might stop by here to help you with that translation."
"For the record, I told her it was a bad idea. I knew once you got your hands on her she'd never get out. Oh well, another Friday night of fun lost to . . . " Oz put his hand out to silence him. While Xander had failed to recognize the grief stricken look on the librarian's face Oz hadn't.
"Giles what is it?" Oz could feel the icy grip of fear clenching his heart. "It's Willow isn't it?"
Giles nodded trying to buy time while he searched for the correct words. Finally he realized there weren't any. "Angel just called. He found her and took her to the hospital."
Xander's face turned white. "What do you mean found her? Where? What happened?"
"All I know is he found her unconscious in the alley by the Bronze. She's been attacked. I'm sorry, but that is all I know."
Oz turned and headed to the door. "I'll drive."
The trio burst into the emergency room and approached the nurses desk. Oz had made it there in record time.
Giles was the first to speak. "Excuse me, we're looking for Willow Rosenberg. She was brought in not too long ago."
The nurses looked at the men briefly before sharing a knowing glance. "You're friends of hers?"
"That would be why we're asking." Xander didn't even attempt to hide his sarcasm. Ordinarily Giles would have reprimanded him, but he was too concerned to bother.
"I meant are you family?"
"No. Her parents are out of town and can't be reached." Giles answered before adding, "I am a close family friend though. The closest thing to a parent you are going to get for now."
"The doctor is with her now. Why don't you follow me to the waiting room. When she comes out I'll send her right over. In the meantime maybe you can help us. We need some forms filled out for Admitting." She handed him a clipboard and pen. "Whatever you can fill out would be great."
"Can't you tell us anything about her condition?" Oz pleaded. Hell, he would have gotten down on his knees and begged if it would have helped. They knew so very little.
She gave him a sympathetic look as they followed her down the hall. "I'm sorry, I really can't. The only thing I can tell you is that her other friend is with her now."
"Other friend?" Xander thought for a second before it came to him. "Angel."
The woman nodded. "When she came to she was panicked. We could barely hold her down. The doctor asked me to go get him and that seemed to calm her somewhat. Now she won't let him leave her side. The doctor is making an exception in this case and allowing him to stay through the examination process."
The only thing that registered with them were the words 'came to'. Everything she had said after that was somewhat lost on them. Then she was gone.
The men were left with only their thoughts, fears and a clipboard. Giles sighed before sitting down and beginning to fill in Willow's name and address.
Xander couldn't believe he was so calm. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to fill these out."
Xander's frustration and worry exploded. "So while God only knows what is going on with Willow you're just going to sit there and play fill in the blanks? How can you be so calm? Don't you care?"
He regretted the words as soon as Giles' eyes met his, the pain in them only too clear. "I care very much. Willow is you're best friend." He turned to Oz. "And the woman that you love. To me, she is the daughter I never had. I am terrified of what is happening to her at this very moment. However, the only people who know anything are the doctor and perhaps Angel. Right now they are busy trying to help her. I think that the best thing we can do for her right now is stay in the background and let them. I know that filling these blasted things out doesn't seem like much, but for right now it is all we can do."
"I'm sorry. I do know how much you care about her. This is just killing me and I'm taking it out on you."
Giles nodded before turning back to the paperwork to hide the tears threatening to fall. "I could really use your help, both of you. I don't have a clue on most of these questions."
Oz and Xander took the seats on either side of him. "Shoot."
"Does she have any allergies?"
"Strawberries." Oz and Giles both looked at him. "All it takes is one and she gets this nasty rash and her whole face swells up . . . "
"Uh, Xan I think they mean medical allergies." Oz explained.
"Oh. No."
"Is she currently on medication of any kind?"
Oz thought for a second. "No. Nothing."
"How much do you know about her family's medical history?" Giles asked either of them.
"Her grandma died of cancer five years ago." Xander offered.
"And I'm pretty sure that one of her uncles has diabetes." Oz added.
"Oh yeah, Henry. I forgot about him. Nice guy." Xander searched his memory. "That's it though. The Rosenbergs are a healthy bunch. The family reunions are always huge." Then they moved on to Willow's medical history. As Xander rattled off every sniffle and stumble she had ever had Oz realized how much of his life was interwoven with Willow's. How very much they had shared over the years. Instead of feeling jealous he felt grateful.
Between the three of them they had almost everything answered when Angel walked in. They jumped to their feet and rushed forward. All three of them blurting out questions at the same time.
Angel held up his hand to silence them. "Sorry I wasn't here. They just gave her something so she could sleep, I came out as soon as I could leave her."
"How is she?"
"The doctor will be here in a minute, she can explain it better than I can."
"Angel what happened?"
"I was going to the bronze when I found her in the alley, unconscious. I brought her here and after they took her in I called Giles. Willow woke up and was frantic so the nurses came and got me. She was yelling and fighting them off. I came in and helped calm her down. After a little while she just submitted and let them do what they needed to, but she never let go of my hand." He held it up and they all saw the nail marks embedded in his flesh.
"Those are from Willow?" Oz couldn't believe it.
"Yeah. Like I said, she wouldn't let me go."
The doctor entered the waiting room before anything else could be said. Giles was the first to find his voice, "How is she?" The doctor, trying to choose her words carefully, thought for a moment before answering.
Xander realized what she was doing. "Please, don't try and make it sound good. Just tell us."
She looked at the boy and nodded. "Physically she'll be fine, but she has a lot of healing to do. The attacker was vicious. Her wrist is broken. We had to put five stitches in her forehead, two in her lip." Xander turned away, thinking she was finished. She wasn't, she was only pausing. "Two of her teeth were knocked out, the dental surgeon will be in tomorrow to replace them" Oz looked at her amazed, praying she was finished. "Other than all of that she has multiple contusions and scratches. It certainly seems that she put up one hell of a fight."
"Can we see her?"
She looked at Angel, obviously he hadn't told them. "In a minute. First I need to know if she has a boyfriend."
Oz stepped forward, puzzled and terrified. "That would be me."
"If you could come with me, there are a couple of questions I need to ask."
Oz's knees suddenly felt weak and he didn't think he could follow her anywhere. "Anything you have to ask me you can ask me here."
The doctor never hesitated, she needed answers. This was one of the days she truly hated her job. At least with the girls' parents not here she was pretty certain she would get an honest answer. "Are you and Miss Rosenberg sexually active?"
For Oz the room began to spin. "No. I mean, we haven't had intercourse."
"Are you an exclusive couple?" Oz could only nod. "So it's not likely that she had sex with anyone else today?"
Xander exploded in rage. "Just what are you trying to imply about her?"
The doctor was sympathetic. "I really hate to ask that, but I have to be sure. We took some physical evidence from Willow and I need to verify the authenticity to the attacker and no one else." The room spinning sped up for Oz and Giles put his arm on his shoulder to steady him. "So to the best of your knowledge Miss Rosenberg was a virgin?"
His mouth opened, but nothing came out. Was? He could only nod.
"Doctor, are you saying she was raped?" Giles was the only one capable of speaking.
"Yes. We've run a screening for any STD's that the attacker may have transmitted to her. We want to give her a morning after pill to prevent pregnancy. Before I did though I wanted to make sure that there was no possibility that she could be pregnant with a boyfriend's child."
"So now you have physical evidence to prosecute the attacker with?" Giles asked.
"Actually we were able to get quite a bit. We have semen, and blood and skin tissue that was under her nails. Unfortunately, we first have to find a suspect to match it all to. Willow's not being very cooperative yet on that end."
"What do you mean?" Xander was surprised. Willow was always cooperative, with everybody.
She looked at Angel, obviously he hadn't told them that part either. "Willow isn't responding. She's silent. The only response we did get was if Angel tried to leave her." She tried to reassure them. "She has been through a horrifying experience. It's not all that uncommon for a victim to kind of tune themselves out temporarily. To talk about it, or answer questions, will just force her to remember the experience and the attacker. It will be like reliving it over again. That, of course, is the last thing she wants to do. I know it sounds awful, but it's the only coping mechanism that her mind has right now. When she is ready to deal with this she'll just kind of tune back in."
Oz was terrified. "How long does that take?"
"It depends. Sometimes right away, sometimes longer. Just be patient with her. She'll come around. Also, I would strongly recommend counseling as soon as she is feeling up to it. A rape victim can suffer for years if it isn't dealt with properly. She needs to get it all out, and that requires help." She pulled some brochures out of her pocket and handed them to Oz. "This will be difficult for both of you. She'll need your help to heal from this, all of you. Like I said, physically she will heal fairly quickly. Emotionally it will be far more difficult." Her beeper went off and she glanced at it. "I'm sorry, I have to go. I'll let all of you go in and see her together, but please don't stay in there too long. We've given her soemthing to sleep and she won't wake up until early in the morning, but she needs good rest right now. If there is anything else I can do please don't hesitate to contact me."
They all said thank you.
"I'll send a nurse in to take you to her. Also, Officer Collum will be here shortly to take a statement from Angel and may have questions for all of you. I am very sorry."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The nurse opened the door and let the men enter, "No more than five minutes. You can come back in the morning after she?s awake."
As they approached the bed Giles heard Oz's sharp intake of breath and put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. The doctor had listed her injuries and they had known what to expect, but seeing it was another matter. The site of Willow lying so helpless and battered was shocking.
The various smells of medicine and disinfectants assaulted Oz's heightened senses. Underneath those he could clearly detect the scent of Willow's blood, her fear, and the faintest smell of semen. His stomach churned with a mixture of anguish and worry.
Angel could smell it too, though not as strongly as the werewolf, and offered the only words of comfort he could think of, "They have her medicated, she's not feeling any pain." Looking at her swollen and bruised face that was impossible to believe.
Oz approached the bed slowly, feeling as if he were in a horrible dream, wanting nothing more than to wake up. None of it seemed real. As he gingerly picked up her hand in his he knew that it was. Suddenly this was their reality. He started to speak, but the words were stuck behind the huge lump forming in the back of his throat. He swallowed and tried again, "Hey baby." Bending over he brushed back a strand of hair and kissed her forehead ever so gently, terrified of hurting her.
Xander, Giles and Angel approached the other side of the bed. For the first time ever, Xander was speechless. He desperately wanted to talk to her, let her know that they were all there for her, that they loved her and now she was safe but he couldn't think of any words that fit. Instead he reached out and touched her cheek remaining silent. Tears blurred his vision and he kissed her forehead before turning and walking to the corner of the room.
"Oh Willow." Giles took his place. "Rest well and sleep without dreams." He kissed the top of her head before turning to join Xander.
"Willow you're safe now. I'll be back tomorrow night." Angel told her before lightly squeezing her fingers.
The other men watched as Oz lovingly stroked Willow's hair for a moment before Giles cleared his throat and spoke up, "We should let her get her rest."
Oz could only nod before leaning in to kiss her cheek, "I'll be back in the morning baby. I love you."
* * *
In the hallway Oz leaned against the wall, his eyes closed, trying to gain some composure. He broke out in a sweat as a wave of nausea gripped his stomach. The image of Willow in the bed flashed behind his closed lids and words echoed in his mind. Willow was attacked . . . brutal . . . stitches . . . broken wrist . . . multiple contusions . . . two of her teeth . . . was a virgin . . . raped . His eyes snapped open and he ran down the hall to the nearest restroom.
The three men stared after him lost in their own thoughts. "Maybe I should go after him." Xander offered having no idea what he would say that could possibly help.
"No, just give him a minute." Angel thought for a second, carefully choosing his words. "Somebody should stay with him tonight. He's in shock right now but once that fades it's going to be replaced by rage and he could go out and do something stupid."
Giles agreed but Xander was shocked. "Something stupid like what" Try and find the animal that did this to her? What the hell is he supposed to do, wait for Sunnydale's finest to solve the case? We all know how great they are at their jobs. Hell, they'll probably write it off to gangs on PCP and close the file. Meanwhile the bastard that did this to Willow goes free." The emotions were too much, Xander's eyes began to flood with unshed tears. "What if that was Buffy in there? Would you leave this up to them?"
Angel shook his head. He knew that if it was Buffy he wouldn't rest until the attacker had paid with his life, but he was a demon, not a human being with a future and a girlfriend to think of. He wasn't vulnerable.
Giles spoke up. "Xander this isn't a vampire attack or some unexplainable Hellmouth occurrence that the police are afraid to report. This is a crime with a human attacker and a human victim. There's a huge difference where the Sunnydale police are concerned. Right now we don't have anything to go on. If Oz goes off now he's going to pin it on the first person he can justify in his grief-stricken mind and either hurt someone innocent or be hurt. Then what good is he going to do her? To get through this Willow is going to need him, all of us, by her side. The best thing you can do for her is keep Oz, and yourself, from going off half cocked looking for vengeance."
Xander knew he was right but the idea of going home to his warm bed and going to sleep at this point was inconceivable. "I'll stay with him, but in the morning we are going to start snooping around." Giles tried to give him a stern look but the younger man stood his ground just as Giles knew he would. "You can't expect us to sit by and do nothing so don't ask."
Oz returned from the restroom shaky, but more in control. His usually expressionless face was lined with pain and rage. "Angel where are her clothes?"
Angel knew exactly what he was thinking and it scared him. "The police have them." Oz had fully intended on taking advantage of his werewolf abilities. He'd sniff the bastard out like a bloodhound if necessary. Whatever it took to make the man who had done this pay, and pay dearly.
"Everything?"
"Yes, everything."
Xander knew what Oz had been thinking and if the situation weren't so serious he would have cracked a million lame jokes. "Did she say anything at all?"
"She never uttered a word." Angel wasn't sure how to proceed. "I know how angry you are, I am too. But we don't know anything and until Willow wakes up we won't. We can't even ask around until morning."
"I promise you that we won't rest until the guy is caught. But tonight you should try and get some rest. I know that seems impossible, but it's going to get worse before it gets better. She's going to need you when she wakes up." Giles reminded him.
Something clicked in Xander's mind. "Oh man, Buffy. I forgot all about her. When is she due back from her dad's?"
Giles answered with a guilty look, he too had forgotten about the Slayer. "Tomorrow. I'll call her mother in the morning and she can fill her in when she returns. Willow will need her here."
Angel noticed the police officer approach the nurses station and motioned to Giles. The last thing he wanted was to answer the inevitable questions while Oz listened. It would be like rubbing salt in an open wound. Giles had the same thought. "There's nothing more we can do tonight. Why don't we head for home and try to get some rest, tomorrow is going to be a long day. Oz would you mind dropping me off on your way?" The hesitation Oz felt at leaving was all too evident. "Perhaps you and Xander could stop by Willow's house and get a few of her things to bring back in the morning. Maybe you can find an emergency number for her parents there as well."
The idea of doing something useful for his girlfriend, no matter how small it may be, was the right motivation. "Angel do you need a lift?"
"No, I'll be fine. I'll be back tomorrow night after sunset."
Oz was about to walk away when he stopped. "Angel, thank you for being there and everything you did for her. I know I don't have to say it, but I want to."
"I promise you we will find who did this to her and he will pay."
* * *
Xander and Oz walked into Willow's house, both of them knowing it almost as well as their own. Xander went into the kitchen to look for an emergency number for her parents while Oz went to her room to get a few things for her. As Oz opened the door he couldn't believe his eyes. There were candles set up all around the room, just waiting to be lit. The covers on the bed were pulled back and a handful of rose petals were scattered on the sheets. There was a short, green, satin chemise laying on the bed just waiting for Willow to come home and put it on. And then he noticed the music playing softly on the stereo. It was that damn Barry White CD, their own private joke.
Oz sat down heavily on the bed and clutched the nightgown in his hands. He brought it to his face, but her smell wasn't on it. It must be new. It was the exact color of her eyes and Oz knew that she would have looked breathtaking in it. Then something on the nightstand caught his eye. It was a box of condoms. Willow had obviously wanted tonight to be their night, THE night. Oz's heart broke a little more as he thought about it, his mind drifting back to their date last weekend.
* * *
After the movie Oz drove around awhile before stopping at the Sunnydale make-out spot.
When he stopped the van and turned to Willow she playfully punched him on the shoulder, "Just what kind of a girl do you think I am?" she teased.
Oz tried his best to give her a look of innocence. "What? I thought we could just look at the stars and talk."
"Talk huh?" He nodded as Willow looked at the clock on his dash. She had just under two hours until she was supposed to be home. If she was with Buffy or the gang her parents didn't pay attention to when she came home. If she was on an official date with Oz it was another story. "Isn't this the part where you pop in a tape and suggest going in the back to check out the new speakers you just put in?"
Oz's hand paused only an instant before continuing to push in the tape. "Please, like I would try a line that lame." Willow gave him a knowing smile and Oz fiddled with the dial on his stereo. "Damn."
"What?s wrong?"
"The front speakers aren't working. I really wanted you to hear this song too."
Willow turned to the back of the van. "Funny, it seems that the back speakers are fine. We could go back there Mr. Original."
"What a good idea. Why didn't I think of that?" He gave her a lecherous look as she giggled and got up taking her hand, leading her to the back of the vehicle.
The van was carpeted and he had a couple of huge throw pillows scattered around. Oz sat down pulling Willow down next to him. For a couple of minutes they just sat in silence, holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes. Enjoying just being near the other, alone.
Oz reached out to brush a strand of hair back from her face and his hand stroked her cheek in a familiar gesture of affection.
Willow sighed contentedly "It seems like it's been forever since we've had any time alone. I've missed it." Oz leaned in and placed a tender, chaste kiss on her lips lingering for just a second as he inhaled her scent. "I've really missed that."
"Me too." Oz laid back on a pillow gently pulling her down and into his waiting arms. Willow laid her head on his shoulder and placed a hand on his chest, stroking him softly through the T-shirt. Oz had one arm around her back and the other rested on her hip. For awhile they just laid like that, talking softly about school and the latest antics their friends had been up to. Simply enjoying the sounds, smells, and feeling of each other. After awhile they both grew silent and Oz gathered the courage to say the one thing he had been wanting to say for months, finally knowing that now was the right time. "Willow," his voice was soft and hesitant, "I love you."
Willow pulled her head up and looked into his eyes. "Oz, I love you too." She leaned in to kiss him and for a brief moment their lives were utterly perfect.
* * *
They had plenty of passion and though they had done a lot of things together Oz had always been painfully careful not to let things go too far. And since the failed seduction at Christmas Willow hadn't brought up sex again either. They had been happy, content, and busy falling in love with each other. There was no need to rush.
Now their relationship had reached that level where it was the next logical step. Apparently Willow had decided that this would be the night and Oz knew that unlike Christmas he wouldn't have said no. Finally, they both needed it for the same reason. To express the love they felt in their hearts, not to prove it, or create it.
Oz was so deep in his own thoughts he hadn't heard Xander come in. As he looked around the room his chest ached as he realized all that had been taken that night. "Was supposed to be a big night, huh?" Oz could only nod. "How are you holding up?"
It was tempting to rattle off the twenty different emotions he was feeling but it would be a waste of effort. He knew that Xander was feeling them too. "Honestly, I feel like throwing up again. How is she ever going to get over this? How is she ever going to feel safe again?"
"Willow's a lot stronger than she seems, we both know that. She will get over this and one day she will feel safe again. We'll help her, we'll make her world safe." Oz met his eyes and a look passed between the two men, Xander mistook it for jealousy. "I mean you'll help her. She's your Willow."
It had been a look of gratitude. "You were right the first time. We'll help her, she's our Willow, I'm willing to share. But, for the record I retain all rights to Willow-kissage. All rights Xander." This was the closest Oz had ever come to bringing up their past indiscretions.
"I got it." Xander had been surprised after the Homecoming incident that Oz had not only forgiven Willow and apparently him, but he had accepted their friendship without trying to place conditions on it. But that was just Oz. Xander was grateful that this was the guy that loved Willow and that she loved back. No matter what his feelings were for her, he knew deep in his heart that the two red-heads were made for each other. "Thank you for sharing her with me."
Oz looked down at the floor and after a moment his shoulders began shaking as he lost the fight with the tears he had been holding in. Xander put his hand on his shoulder. "Oz, it's okay man. You have to get it out." Oz turned to face him and when Xander saw the grief that so mirrored his own he did the first thing that came to mind, he embraced Oz and they clung to each other, crying for the woman that they both loved.
* * *
Oz pried his eyes open and realized he was in Willow's bed, the smell of her hair was on the pillow. For the briefest of moments he thought it had all been a nightmare. But as his mind and body woke up he remembered what had happened. After they cried, Xander and Oz had sat in her room talking and taking comfort in the fact that they were not alone in what they were feeling. Oz had been so exhausted he didn't even remember when exactly he had fallen asleep.
Xander had fallen asleep on the floor using Willow's teddy bear as a pillow. Oz thought about letting him sleep a little big longer, but he glanced at the clock and it was already 8:30, he wanted to get to the hospital. He got out of bed and just as he was about to shake Xander the door bell rang. Xander's eyes snapped open and he looked at Oz questioningly. "This should be interesting, I'll get it. Call the hospital and check on Will okay?"
It was a toss up between who was more surprised, Oz when he opened the door or Michael when he saw who answered it. "Oz, uhm, hi. I know it's early but I was on my way to work and when I saw your van out front I thought Willow would be awake." When he didn't get a response he decided to be more direct. "Can I see her for a second?"
"I'm sorry. She's not here right now."
It just kept on getting stranger. "Oh, well could you just give this to her?" Michael handed him a spell book. "She forgot it last night."
"Wait a minute. You saw Willow at the Bronze last night?" Xander had joined Oz at the door.
With the look he was getting from Xander and Oz he was afraid to answer. So to be safe he took a big step backward. "Yeah, she said she was meeting you guys but she was early. We hung out and then that one guy came up and they started talking, then they danced for a couple of songs. After that I saw them go outside. She never came back in and I couldn't find her. She probably just forgot about it."
Oz had to remind himself to breathe as white hot anger coursed through his veins. "What guy?"
Michael thought for a second, trying to remember the guy's name. Finally he gave up. "Your lead singer."
"Devon?!" Michael nodded.
Xander grabbed their jackets off the couch and handed Oz his as he slipped his arms into his own. "Let's go. Willow's condition is stable and she's still asleep. The nurse doesn't think she'll be awake for at least another two hours."
* * *
Devon was having his favorite dream, the one where Dingoes Ate My Baby were the headlining gig at a sold out show when the annoying pounding found it's way into his subconscious. He tried to ignore it but it kept getting louder and louder. Finally he threw back the covers and pried his eyes open, obviously it wasn't going to go away.
He opened the door to find his lead guitarist and that Harris guy he'd been hanging out with lately. "Dude, you better have a damn good reason for waking me up this early on a Saturday." Oz glanced at the hand holding the door open and saw that Devon?s knuckles were bruised and split open.
Forcing the door open Oz grabbed Devon by the front of his shirt backing him up against the wall. "I need answers Devon."
Devon had never seen him so worked up and decided not to argue. "Okay, ask the questions and I'll give them to you."
"Let's start with what happened with you and Willow at the Bronze last night."
"Huh? Oh that, no big deal. We hung out a little and had some fun. You know, got to know each other better." Devon gave him his best rock star smug smile.
"Fun! Is that what you call it?!" Xander wanted nothing more than to knock each and every one of his teeth down his throat but he decided to let Oz have him first, he would attack whatever was left.
"I enjoyed myself. I think she did too."
Oz was so enraged it was impossible to see straight. "Devon, I'm going to beat you unconscious, then when you wake up I'll do it again. See the pattern? Then maybe I'll let the police haul off what's left." He pulled his fist back ready to punch before Devon stopped him.
Devon held up his hands to ward off the inevitable pummeling he was about to receive. "Oz I really think we have our wires crossed. All we did was hang out, she talked about you the whole time."
"You think this is what this is about?! That I'm jealous!"
"What else would it be about?"
"The fact that you beat the shit out of her and raped her!" Oz yelled in his face.
"What the hell are you talking about? Willow was raped? Is she okay?" The confusion was clear on Devon's face, he was clueless. "Wait a minute, you think I did it?"
Xander spoke up. "Well you were the last one seen with her. And your hand is all busted up."
Devon looked at his hand and shrugged. "I did this yesterday afternoon, I was moving equipment around and smashed it under an amp. Let go of me and we?ll talk okay." Devon put his hand on Oz's shoulder. "We'll figure out who did this, but it sure as hell wasn't me." Oz's grip remained in tact. "Dude, you've known me forever do you really think I'm capable of something like that?"
Oz let go of the shirt, he knew that he wasn't. "Sorry, I just . . . "
Devon cut him off. "Not necessary. I know how much she means to you. I would have reacted the same way. I saw her at the Bronze with that freaky kid. I realized that her and I hadn't really talked that much so I went over to her. I mean since you too have been all blissful I've gotten some killer songs out of you, I figured I owed her thanks for being such a great inspiration and making you so damn happy. We talked a little and then I asked her to dance. It was really hot in there and the band sucked so we decided to go outside. You know, get some fresh air and talk." Devon struggled trying to remember what exactly had happened next. "After about 20 minutes Shelly, groupie of the week, came up and we started talking. She kind of steered me away from Willow, she gets all possessive. Then Willow started talking to this guy and we got separated"
Xander had to restrain himself from smacking the lead singer on the back of the head. "Do you know who it was?"
"Yes and no. I've seen him before but I don't know his name. I think you guys know him though."
Now Oz wished he had punched Devon. "Describe him." Much to Oz and Xander's horror Devon did and they knew instantly who he was talking about.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xander pounded on the door as Oz looked on, eyes gleaming. "Nobody seems to be home." They both glanced over at the driveway to the familiar car.
"Or somebody just isn't answering." Oz told him. "Try the door."
"Gee, can't imagine why he wouldn't want to see us." He turned the knob, but it was locked and solid. "Damn, where's the Slayer when you need her?" Xander saw Oz sizing up the door. "Think we can do it?"
"Only one way to find out."
"You know, if we bust the door in it'll be breaking and entering."
"Really not a concern of mine."
Xander nodded as he backed up and stood next to Oz. "Me either, but I thought I'd mention it." They counted to three and rammed it with all they had. The door gave way easily under their combined strength. "Oops."
Oz entered the house and after a quick glance around headed up the stairs to the second floor with Xander on his heels. The second door they tried was the right one.
"Well, he's either a slob or he was leaving in a hurry." Xander offered.
The bed was made and other than clothes tossed around and drawers standing open it was relatively tidy. "I'm voting for leaving in a hurry."
"I realize it's circumstantial evidence but I'm thinking guilty." A shirt on the floor caught Xander's eye. It was black, but speckled with darks pots. He handed it to Oz who brought it to his face and inhaled deeply.
"Now it's concrete. That's Willow's blood." Before the attacker had been faceless. Now when the images of Willow's assault played themselves out in Oz's mind there was a face to go with it. Someone that she had trusted had done this to her. How was that even possible? How could somebody who knew her do this? The enraged guitarist turned and grabbed each item on the dresser and in turn smashed them against the far wall. Soon the floor was littered with liquid, broken glass and chunks of plaster.
Xander watched quietly until he was finished. "Do you feel any better?"
Oz shook his head. "Not a bit."
"Didn't think so. What do you want to do now?"
Oz was at a loss. Suddenly their roles had been reversed. Oz was the irrational one while Xander was keeping his emotions in check. Though one look in his eyes told Oz exactly how difficult it was for him. "I don't know. I can't even form a thought right now."
"You either huh?" Xander put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go to the hospital and check on Will. Giles will probably be there soon, we'll talk to him."
"Okay." Oz took another look around the room and suppressed the urge to smash something else knowing it wouldn't do any good nor would it make him feel any better.
"We'll find him. I promise you that."
* * *
When they got to the hospital they ran into Giles coming out of Willow's room. He looked like hell. It was obvious he hadn't gotten any sleep nor had he bothered to shave.
Giles being ever so observant noticed the looks he was receiving from the duo. "After you dropped me off I went home, but I couldn't sleep." The truth was every time he closed his eyes horrible visions haunted him. "So I came back here. I've been sitting in the lobby occasionally checking on her until just a couple of hours ago. A kind nurse took pity on me and let me stay with her."
"How is she?" Oz and Xander unconsciously held their breath waiting for an answer. The nurse had reported on her physical condition over the phone, but they were concerned with her state of mind and any signs of discomfort.
Giles inhaled deeply. "She slept soundly throughout the night until about an hour ago when she woke up."
"So she's awake?" They both started toward the room, but Giles held his hand out to stop them.
"The doctor is with her now, examining her." Giles knew he had to tell them. "Willow is awake, but she's still non-responsive. She just stares out the window."
Oz felt like he had been punched in the stomach, but Xander refused to let his hope be diminished. "The doctor said that was normal right? Her mind just isn't ready to deal with this. So we'll give her some time and she'll come back to us."
Before Giles could reply Oz spoke up, mostly because he wanted to go with Xander's theory and didn't want to hear Giles disagree. Since they had arrived his mind and heart had been torn between Willow's condition and the reason they had been looking for Giles. While he was still reeling from the news about Willow he needed to bring up the attacker. "Giles, we know who did this."
Giles was so surprised by the unexpected outburst he nearly dropped his glasses that he had been polishing. "What??"
"Percy Whitmore." Xander spit out the name.
"The basketball player Willow has been tutoring? Are you certain?"
"Devon saw them together last night. We went to his house to talk." Oz ignored the reproachful look the Watcher started to give them. "Nobody was home, but there was a shirt in his room with Willow's blood on it. It looked like Percy packed up before he took off."
"I take it you broke into his home?"
Oz nodded but his eyes pleaded with him to understand. "Giles, what else could we do? What would you have done?"
Though he'd never admit it to them Giles knew that he would have done exactly the same thing if he had been there. "What did you do after you found the shirt?"
"We came straight here to check on Will and find you." Xander told him hoping they had done the right thing.
Giles' mind struggled to think, which was difficult. At the moment all he wanted to do was strangle the student as well, or let Xander and Oz at him with his blessing. "We should call the police."
"The only thing we can tell them is that he was the last known person with Willow. I doubt they're going to start a manhunt over that. We can't very well tell them we broke into his house and found what we know is Willow's blood because Oz is a werewolf."
"True, but they would go to question him and they'll find him missing. At least they'll be suspicious. I don't think we should leave Willow unwatched until he is found, just to be safe."
Before they could say anymore the doctor came out and joined them. "Good morning. I assume Mr. Giles has told you about Willow's condition."
Oz found the courage to ask the question that was on all of their minds. "Any idea how long she'll be like this?"
The doctor shook her head. "Sadly, no. Physically she is the same, which is good. Her mental state is a whole other issue. She could snap out of it right away or it could take much longer. There's no way to tell. I'm going to schedule a visit with the psychologist for Monday. Then Dr. Atkins can review her case and make an evaluation."
"But she let you examine her without a fight right?" Xander asked believing it to be a good sign. At least Willow felt safe and knew she wasn't in danger.
The doctor decided to be honest with them even though it may be brutal. "Yes she did. But that in itself isn't necessarily a good sign. It tells me that her mind is so far removed from what is happening around her that she isn't even aware."
It was obvious by their devastated looks that that thought hadn't even crossed their minds. Oz was the first to recover. "Can we go in and sit with her?"
"Of course, but I want you both to be prepared, it's very unsettling. I know you think you can go in there and you'll be able to reach her. Maybe you can, but you have to keep in mind that you won't be able to until she is ready for it. That might not be for some time." She let this sink in for a moment before she continued. I encourage you to talk to her, but I'm sure I don't need to impress upon you the importance of being careful what you say. If she appears to become distressed at all call the nurse immediately. One last thing, be careful of physical contact. An examine is clinical and different than kissing her forehead or touching her hand. She might let you or she might feel threatened by it. If you try to touch her and she reacts badly don't push it and don't take it personally. It's not you she's withdrawing from."
"Do you want me to go in with you?" Giles offered.
"No, it's okay." Oz was still shaken from the doctor's words, but knew that all he wanted was to see her no matter how hard it might be for him.
"Alright. I'm going to make a couple of phone calls. I'll be back in a few moments."
Giles and the doctor left Xander and Oz alone outside Willow's room. They shared a glance to gather their courage and together they walked into the room of the woman that meant so very much to them both.
* * *
Willow was aware of her body's surroundings even though she wasn't experiencing them. She felt as if she were outside of her body looking down on it and everything that was happening to her. Instead of being alarmed by this she felt calm. She had no idea why she was in the hospital and that really didn't worry her. It was a lot like floating.
While the doctor had examined her she watched on calmly. That was when she felt the presence for the first time. "Who are you?" she wasn't scared but she was curious.
"I'm you."
"Why can't I feel what's happening to me? Am I dead?"
The presence could only laugh. "No, you're not dead. You don't remember what happened do you?" Willow shook her head. "That's good. It's not time yet, you're not ready. When you are I'll let you go back."
Willow was beginning to feel angry with the presence and feeling somewhat trapped. "How will you know when I'm ready?"
"Because I'm you."
Willow watched as Oz and Xander came into the room. They looked so sad and worried. She wanted so much to tell them that it was okay, but she couldn't make the lips move. She struggled to remember what had happened, maybe then she would return to her body. She struggled and bits and pieces started coming to her, but nothing solid.
She had been in the alley with Percy, he was upset about something. Willow tried to calm him down, but he just grew more and more agitated. He backed her up against the wall, pressing his body against hers. She had tried to push him away but he was too strong. Percy hit her and wrestled her to the ground.
The presence was suddenly next to her again, the voice soothing. "Don't force the memories. They will come in time when you are ready for them."
"Oz is so worried, I can see it on his face. I need to let him know that I'm okay." The presence should understand if she was her how much that meant.
"Oz loves you, he will give you the time you need. He won't force you to come back. They just want to be near you, that's enough for them for now."
* * *
When Oz and Xander first sat down next to the bed they had a hard time, neither one knew what to say. They didn't want to upset her but they wanted her to know that they were there. Oz decided to talk about neutral topics like the band and rehearsal. Soon Xander was telling stories of their childhood and after Giles joined them he told stories of growing up in England. It was almost as if the more they talked the more they kept their mind off of what was really happening. As long as nobody stopped to think it would all be alright.
In the middle of telling about the first time Willow rode a bike Xander glanced at Oz and saw the tears streaming down his face as he watched Willow's total lack of response. Oz glanced at Xander and motioned for him to continue as he got up and headed for the door. Giles started to stand but Oz shook his head. "Just give me a minute."
Oz opened the door and stepped out into the hall just as Buffy rounded the corner. She started to speak but instead threw her arms around him as her own tears fell. Oz gripped her into a tight embrace as if holding on for his own life. After a couple of minutes she pulled back and looked at him. Usually his face was expressionless to see so much raw pain there was startling. "Is somebody with her?"
"Giles and Xander."
Buffy nodded and took his hand in hers. "Let's go outside for a minute." She saw his hesitation and gently started leading him toward the elevator. "You look like you could use some fresh air. I promise we'll just be gone a couple of minutes."
Joyce had told Buffy everything as soon as she walked in the door and she had come straight to the hospital. She hadn't even stopped to digest everything, not wanting to take the time knowing how badly she was needed here.
Once they got outside Oz was amazed to realize it was already early evening. Sitting down on the steps Buffy continued to hold his hand as she waited.
"It hurts so much to see her like that, so separated from everything." Oz drew in a deep breath. "But maybe that's not the worst part. Maybe the worst is knowing that it's better for her that way. She's better not having to remember what that bastard did to her, what he made her do. Then I feel selfish because I want her back no matter if it's hard for her or not. I just need her so much. I can't imagine a day without seeing her smile or hearing her voice."
Buffy nodded. "I know what you mean. I need her too, she's my best friend. Willow won't let us down. Besides I know she needs you just as badly. Do you have any idea how much she loves you?"
Oz remembered the scene he had found in her bedroom yesterday and could only nod, he knew exactly how much and he thanked God for the thousandth time for that love. "Then there's this other part of me that just wants to beat the shit out of Percy, but he's nowhere to be found. I feel so torn between wanting to hunt him down and not wanting to leave her side."
Buffy could feel her Slayer rage race through her veins as she thought of the person responsible for doing this but she suppressed it for his sake. "Right now we should concentrate on Willow. We'll catch the bad guy in time, we always do."
Oz squeezed her hand and stood up. "Thanks Buffy. Are you ready to go up there?"
Buffy said yes even though her mind wondered. How can you ever be ready to see your best friend hurting so much and know that there's nothing you can do?
She forced the next part out in a rush, not giving him a chance to argue. "Oz maybe you should take off for awhile. You have to be exhausted and probably haven't eaten since yesterday. I'm just suggesting you get something to eat and a couple of hours sleep."
"I'm fine. Really."
"Oz, this is me. Don't try and be all super manly okay? I'll stay right by her side until you come back and if anything changes I'll call you right away. There really isn't anything more you can do. Besides when she comes around she's going to need you here."
Even though the last thing he wanted was to leave he knew she was right he was exhausted. And he was man enough to admit it. "Alright. I'll leave, but only for a couple of hours."
Buffy smiled, grateful that he was going to take her advice. It was obvious how much he needed to get away even if it was only for a couple of hours.
* * *
Buffy and Oz met up with the others in the hallway and she convinced them all to take off for awhile. "Don't think of it as leaving, think of it as giving me some time alone with her." After she vowed to call everybody if there was any change at all they reluctantly agreed. Giles and Xander went in to say goodbye and after they left Buffy and Oz went in.
"I'm going to leave for awhile, but I'll be back soon. I love you." Oz gently took her hand in his, the first time he had touched her since she had woken up. Immediately he felt her stiffen beneath his touch and she turned her head completely away from him. Desperately he wanted to grab her hand and hold on for dear life, until she wasn't afraid. Instead he stopped and let go, the single act the most painful thing he had ever done. To let go of her because it was what she wanted.
Buffy was on the other side of the bed and caught the exchange, her heart breaking along with his, for his. She followed him to the door stopping him before he opened it. "Oz . . ."
The pain she expected to see wasn't there, instead she saw only defeat and numbness. This was like the final blow. Oz knew that it wasn't him she was afraid of. But that knowledge didn't make it hurt any less. If anything it increased it, to know that he was unable to give her the comfort that she so desperately needed. Willow was going through so much and there was absolutely nothing he could do to make it better, she was out of his reach, by her choice.
Oz turned away and opened the door whispering, "I'll be at home if you need me." Then he was gone.
Buffy took in a deep breath, slowly exhaling and with it trying to release all of the emotions running through her. Forcing out Oz's pain, Giles' concern, Xander's anger, and her own fear. When everything inside her was tuned into only Willow she allowed herself to turn around and face her best friend.